Ghost wodders


6.00am... A quiet time for most people, not the ghost wodders tho! This team consisting of the mighty Grieg (strong but subtle as a punch in the face... With a brick) the grumpy but kind at heart Ashleigh, the annoyingly overly smart one Tony Kelly, Louise the kick ass afraid of nothing one, the rouge of the group Thomas Thompson & his dog Gibby Doo, with their leader the handsome & fearless (plus quite smug about it) Maciej they are an unstoppable force against the ghouls of the underworld! 

The team received a call from two worried coaches of the Lisburn box CrossFit Varangian that a Cave Troll going by the name of Lee had been terrorising their gym & eating all the weights! "Let's get on it!" Shouted Louise, with a nod to one another they hurried to the van! Obviously with limited space Grieg had to be strapped to the roof & with Tony trying to work the sat nav it might take a while but THEY WERE ON THEIR WAY! 

Pulling up into the car park the gang were faced with their first obstacle! The entire path to the shutter of the box was filled with ZOMBIES!! Hopping out of the van with weapons in hand they started tackling the zombies! Ashleigh got ahead with the sledgehammer destroying zombie kunaal, Ian & Edel, Louise using her ninja skills to fly kick zombie carrie ann, Phil, Gina & Helen, Tony using his technical mitts to zap zombie Gary, Fred & Gordon when ALL OF A SUDDEN TONY WAS GRABBED BY ZOMBIE TRISHA AND SHE ATE HIS FACE!!!! "NOOO!!!" Screamed everyone! As they were too busy with their own zombies Maciej finished off quickly on zombie Fiona, Kieran & Joanna to run to his aid... But it was too late tony had became a zombie & was now eating zombie Trishas face too... The horror! With Grieg jumping up & down on the last of the zombies turning them into unrecognisable (and therefore unnameable) mush... The car park was silent.

After the battle the team was tired, Thomas & Gibby Doo then appeared out of the back of the van "what the hell were you's doing!?" Screamed Ashleigh, "we made a REALLY big burrito..." Thomas innocently replied as Gibby Doo let out a most impressive burp, "nevermind" sighed Maciej "let's get through this shutter." Louise grabs Tonys tools from the back of the van in a false hope that she knows what to do with them but just as she's walking over to the group... "GRIEG SMASH!!!!" Grieg rugby tackles the shutter & pretty much brings most of the front of the building down with it. They are in...

As the dust settles two paths are revealed, to the left the icey room of death & straight ahead to the torture dungeon of doom "I'm going left" snarled Thomas "no we need to stick together!" Maciej "screw you guys! I don't need you's I'll solve this mystery myself!" Thomas says pulling Gibby Doo with him through the ice doors, the gang roll their eyes & start to walk towards the dungeon but they're not two steps in when they hear a woman's scream coming from the ice room! Louise kicks the door off the hinges & everyone runs in ready to fight... Just to find Thomas jumping up & down with his hands on his face "ahhhh!! My eye!! My EYE!!!!" "What happened!?" Shouted Ashleigh, just then Maciej found the light switch to revel the corpse of Michael Press lying in the ice bath with the pointiest nipples that had ever been seen... Thomas goes quiet "nothing! I'm fine!" He whispers "we should probably stay together..." Just then! Two crazed psychos jump out of the back room with knives! The two Jen's! "RUN!! I mean WOOF!" Screams Gibby Doo, ducking & rolling for cover it seems as if there is no way to hide from these two! Jenny is so small she can hide anywhere while Jenni is so bendy she can get round any corner! Just then a mysterious figure jumps out & proceeds to grab bendy Jenni & tie her around the other Jenny's neck throwing them both in the ice bath & closing the lid on Michael's nipples forever.

With his muscly exterior but playful quiff the stranger gives a cheeky smile & runs off down the corridor "WAIT" shouts Maciej but there is no point, he's not coming back. They exit the ice room & begin to walk slowly towards the dungeon doors... 

Passing through the doors the ghost wodders catch a glance of the torture instruments, bars to hang people off, a machine to make you row without actually ever going anywhere, a device clearly designed to break you in half & barbells for dishing out beatings... This truly was a house of pain! Thomas & Gibby Doo run on ahead to take point as the guys try to keep their wits about them. "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" A duel voice echoes from the distance, appearing a double headed figure known as the Harvelaine holding Thomas & Gibby Doo up by the throats, "we won't be able to out run this one!" says Ashleigh "I have an idea!!" Louise replied bending over provocatively, "Did you just look at her ass!?" Screams one of the heads "Wha..wh.. NO!!" Says the other "you frigging did! I seen you!!" Just then the two headed demon drops the two gang members & begins to beat itself up! They all regroup & sprint through some side doors "PHEW! That was lucky" sighed Ashleigh who seemed to be hiding something... 

Now in a dark room with a cage all that can be heard is heavy breathing, the floor is covered with bones some of the licenses reading Alan, Ben, Connor, Dave... Too many to even mention "keep quiet" whispers yet another two headed figure "The Chadam" but not even a split second had the words left their lips they were disintegrated by a dumbell... Their last breath seeps out as one of their legs twitches out further than the other. There is a mighty roar making the whole building tremble Grieg jumps up to take on the beast but stubs his toe on the edge of the boxing ring, falls & begins to cry "MAN DOWN!! MAN DOWN!!" Yelps Gibby Doo as the Cave Troll reveals himself & begins to shuffle towards the group.

"Roar!! I am the BESTEREST at lifting Fings!!" Grumbles the Troll, "I challenge you all to beat me at a WOD! If you cannot I will tear the flesh from your bones & wear your skulls as hats!" Maciej & Thomas look at each other & nod "fine" says Thomas "but WE pick the WOD!" The troll thinks for what seems to him like a second but it was more like 30 minutes "I'll do your silly WOD! But it better have plenty of biceps! & NO LEGS!" The gang turned back & with a smirk Maciej says "thrusters & pull ups" Gibby Doo chimes in "21" Louise shouts "15" & Grieg screams "9!!!" The Cave troll starts to set up his equipment but as the rest start to set up all of a sudden Ashleigh jumps on Louise & starts to eat her!! "Noooo!!! She must of been bitten in the car park!" The gang pull Ashleigh off & jump on her head until it resembles porridge... Louise is coughing up blood as the cave troll laughs "only one thing can save her!" Shouts Thomas "the big bushy beard!" Gibby Doo knows what to do, he runs off for help leaving only Thomas & Maciej to deal with the cave troll... They set the timer "3, 2, 1! GO!!" Gargles Louise, they begin.

Finishing his thrusters first the cave troll drops his barbell on top of Thomas causing him to explode into tiny pieces "No Rep!!" Screams Maciej, the cave troll just laughs hopping up to the pull up bar, this just encourages Maciej to go faster & he completes his 21's, 15's & 9 thrusters before the cave troll even finishes his 21 pull ups! But on the way back to his bar the cave troll throws a kettlebell at Maciej's knee & it buckles... He falls to the ground... Screaming in pain like a little girl.... All hope is lost.

Gibby Doo arrives back with the wizard James who uses his fluffy facial hair to revive Louise, still weak she starts to cheer on her fellow teammate who is crawling helplessly to the pull up bar. The cave troll is nearly finished his 9 thrusters... All of a sudden from the shadows again jumps out that mysterious stranger from earlier & he throws a total rebuild protein snack to Maciej! Refuelled He is able to pistol squat up onto one leg & jump to the pull up bar! Gibby Doo starts counting the reps, they are neck & neck "4, 5, 6!" The cave troll slips & falls to the ground with a mighty thud, Maciej stops & shouts to him "come on!!! Get back up there!!" The cave troll looks up at him finishing his last reps & stands up, he jumps back up to the bar to complete his set. 

The remaining members await to hear what the cave troll will say..... 

"Friend?" Asks the Troll, "friends" replies everyone together, the wizard James then waves his beard of magical fortune & everyone comes back to life! "A sexy party is in order!!" Screams Matt, heather & Suzy, they all did a community WOD together & lived happily ever after... Even the Cave Troll took part, after some coaxing! Until next Halloween! Mwahahahaha!